dooce ® community

Has anyone done a marriage retreat program called Retrouvaille? It supposedly can be a great starting point for repair for couples on the brink of divorce. What did you think?

34306

No, but are you doing it? Is Mr. Chick on board?

6121

Yes, with my first marriage. It's pretty intense. And it will work if you BOTH want to use the tools they give you. My marriage ended up failing, but that was because I had given up and didn't want to try. That's why I say you BOTH have to want it to work.

I do have a close friend who went with her husband years ago and it totally worked for them. They are still together!

1557

I just looked at it and it looks like it would be helpful if, like @DCruz said, both parties are on board.

The Cowboy and I are in a bit different position, in that we still talk nearly daily and are giving one another time to heal. I'm not certain if this means things will work out, but I do know that forcing The Cowboy (or Mr Whitt) into anything will probably only backfire.

I hope that Mr Whitt is on board.

8310

Well, he is thinking about it, which is better than a flat-out no. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to get my hopes up.

But I have friends that went to this, she was completely out of their marriage, and she says it saved them. I feel like if I can just get him there, maybe we can start to heal. And yes, I am hopeful about it, but I feel like any progress will help us be better parents to baby chick, and that should be our ultimate goal, married or not.

But I told him, I want us to do this 100%, and if after, he still wants out, fine. I just need to know I did everything I could.

1557

I fully know how you feel about needing to know you gave it 100%. The Cowboy is also in the "not wanting to get my hopes up" stage and for me a "maybe" is FAR better then a "no".

Love and hugs to you, I pray 2013 will bring good things your way.

1216

We talk about this on my marriage forum from time to time.

Encounter weekends are fine, but don't expect a quick fix or even an aha moment. You'll be presented with tools to go home and use but the use of those takes practice (many programs have after sessions for this reason, but they aren't meant for ongoing counseling). Both of you might feel like the weekend was a failure when the high wears off and the work really begins. That sort of dunk in the water shock works for some personalities but for some it does not.

It's not not worth a try...just be realistic about it.

You must have a dooce® Community account to leave an answer.

If you've already registered, login.

If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.