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EliBailey

Member Since: November 2, 2009

Location: Dallas, Texas

I live in Dallas with the mister and a large, very hairy but lovable cat named Claudia. I have a 25 year old daughter, a 22 year old son, and two extremely adorable grandsons who all live 500 miles away. I miss them A LOT.

For work and fun I design stuff for print and am starting a letterpress business with the mister. I design; he prints. www.inkartadesign.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/EliBailey

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id...

My daughter wants to move 2,000 miles away. Is there anything I can do to convince her not to? Should I even try? More inside.

42 answers

Posted in Family & Relationships tagged how important is family?, Independence, moving, taking my grandchildren away

Do I need a super professional website or can I get by with what I have for a while? I need opinions! (More inside)

10 answers

Posted in Business & Finance tagged professional image, starting a business, website, why the hell is Dreamweaver so expensive, will trade pretty letterpress stuff for website

What do you do when you're depressed and you know what you should do to make it better, but you're too depressed to do it?

18 answers

Posted in Health & Beauty tagged depression, marriage, therapy

All of EliBailey's Questions »

In response to dooce's question, What's your preferred ...:

Email, definitely. I also hate talking on the phone, and in my case it's because I don't seem to process things auditorily very well. If I can't see a person's face sometimes I can't tell how to respond, and if I am nervous I can't think and I forget things, or I talk too fast and sound like an idiot. It's easier with family or people I know, but I don't call anyone unless I have to.

In response to BrigidS's question, Will you make a personal ...:

I don't know how much I can give yet but I will also make a donation to either the charity Heather chooses or an extra donation to one I already support.

In response to dooce's question, What charity/charities do ...:

I sponsor a child and give through World Vision because they are set up all over the world and help in so many different ways, but there are many other good charities I've been wanting to be more involved with, like www.water.org, which helps provide safe drinking water and sanitation to people in developing countries, and www.projectrhino.com/campaign.html, which helps send children in India to school, and also http://akanksha.org/, another organization in India providing access to education for children there.

I also support www.fugeesfamily.org, a small organization started by one woman, Luma Mufleh, in Clarkston, Georgia. Fugees Family began as a soccer team for refugee children - survivors of war relocated there from a dozen other countries - and has grown to include teams for all ages, summer camps, etc. After getting to know the kids better Luma realized that a lot of them were living in poverty (government assistance for these families lasts only 90 days) and were failing in school because they come here not knowing English and with little or no previous education, so a lot of them fail in the US educational system, which just puts them in whatever class is age-appropriate with no consideration for their actual education level. Luma started tutoring the kids, then with help started an academy, and now the program has expanded and they are working on building the first school specifically for refugees in the U.S. I love this organization because it shows what one person can do to help so many others, and their story is amazing. Tom Brokaw did a story on them recently: http://www.fugeesfamily.org/press.html, which shows exactly what these kids have gone through, not just surviving war, but also all the prejudice and adversity they've gone through here in the states.

It's really wonderful that you're doing this, and I think it really does start with awareness. Someone has to let others know what's going on and then people get together to do something about it - that's how charities get started.

In response to Pandora Has A Box's question, Who wants to wish @Mihow ...:

He's adorable! Congratulations!

In response to victoriasauce's question, How do you celebrate New ...:

I used to hate New Year's Eve, but for the last three years my husband and I have gone to a Dallas Stars hockey game (they're always at home on NYE), then take the car home and walk to a few bars. It's always fun walking around here because everyone is so happy! So now that we have this tradition I look forward to it.

In response to kcon's question, The Rally to Restore ...:

I'm going to a satellite rally here (Dallas).

In response to Mini Purl's question, Do you make your bed every ...:

Every time I clean the whole place really well I start making the bed every morning for a while because I love how it looks all made up and it's so nice to not have the covers messed up when we go to bed, but eventually it gets forgotten again. But anytime I know someone is coming over I make the bed because we live in a loft and the bedroom doesn't have a door, so you can see the bed from the kitchen or coming back from the bathroom.

In response to AngieBeth's question, Favorite John Cusack ...:

Grosse Pointe Blank is very close to the top of my favorite movies of all time list, and High Fidelity is also a favorite. Unfortunately he seems to have made a lot of bad choices after those. I really like him as a person and as an actor, but most of the movies he's made since those two have kinda sucked.

In response to Davina's question, Vasectomy reversal. Does ...:

I have friends who had two boys, the husband got a vasectomy, then later decided to have it reversed and they had two more boys. So for them it worked very well!

In response to fab.about.it's question, Our favorite gin-swilling, ...:

I hope it all goes super fast and easy and recovery is quick and painless. Good luck!

All of EliBailey's Answers »

In response to dooce's question, What charity/charities do ..., mrscpa said:

My friend Clayton went to Haiti right after the earthquake. He worked there for two months and had to come home to finish medical school. He decided that his life's work is to help those in Haiti with education and medical services.
We collected money and school supplies for the 350 primary school students that studied next door to the clinic. Last June I got to go and hand out those supplies. We cleaned out the clinic, and I was a pharmacist for the week. We saw all kinds of patients, including a baby that would have died if we had not gotten him down the mountain to the hospital.
Some of these children didn't even have pants to wear. the six children next door to the clinic are ofter left in the care of the oldest brother who is 11. The family recently had twins and left the children at home for two weeks alone.
This country has seriously touched my heart, and the people there still need so much help. Clayton is in the process of building a primary school for students who were meeting in a storage container. He has installed solar power to the clinic to run a refrigerator so he can have vaccines for the children. He has started a community health program with the women of the area to empower them to help their communities. Since the clinic is the only medical facility for many of these people, they must walk 8 hours, sometimes in the dark, since they don't have money for transportation. The women bring their whole family so that they can all be seen at once. When women are educated and in charge of their medical care, the birth rate is lowered and all of the people who are connected with that female are less likely to die of easily treatable diseases and childbirth.
He also runs a program that provides nutrition to orphans and scholarships so that children can go to school, which can cost as little as TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS a year.
The new primary school needs supplies and support.
Clayton and two other guys recently completed a bike ride across America to raise funds for the clinic and it's operations. http://www.bisiklethaiti.com/
Please look at all they are doing for the impoverished of this country and its people. http://www.wherethestarsstillshine.org/
I can not think of somewhere more deserving where you would be able to see such a direct and monumental use of your funds.

In response to kcon's question, The Rally to Restore ..., Not Marlo said:

@George

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Being on the west coast (9am), I'm going to watch either online or TV if I can depending if I can talk folks into turning it on-- I'm spending Fri night OOT.

And people...be careful out there...because you know what the number one thing to fear on the National Mall is don't you???

Bears!

In response to kcon's question, The Rally to Restore ..., liefie said:

I'm going to the satellite rally here in Seattle... I'd love to go to the one in DC, but a cross country trip just isn't feasible right now!

But the Seattle one should be cool, they've rented a jumbotron to broadcast the DC rally, they've got a whole bunch of speakers, and there's 5000 rsvps!

My sign is going to be a small one (like 8x10") that says (inside voices) in small print :-)

In response to subjectivitis's question, If you are a Christian how ..., AtLast said:

To f/u on @Doo It's points to Vicki and I, I don't think we have to figure it all out (not that we even could anyway) - if I can quote my favorite author Anne Lamott on faith:

"I don't have an interesting theology and to tell you the truth I don't push myself to figure anything out. I'm just so relieved that He's real and in my heart and in this room, and in the refugee camps in Darfur. And even in the White House."

To me, it's about FAITH, not rules or laws. Exactly what @puasamanda said, how you act out that faith is between you and God.

In response to subjectivitis's question, If you are a Christian how ..., puasamanda said:

I can't help you at all, other than to say that you are definitely not the only one who struggles with these questions. How you come out of the struggle on the other side is up to you. I have asked myself the very same questions in the past...namely, how to accept the Bible as Word, yet disregard the parts that seem blatantly wrong. If one thing is wrong, couldn't it ALL be wrong? This nagged at me for ages and ages.

However, there are many different paths in Christianity, and paths that are spiritual and acknowledge God without being a "Christian," per se. Our faith, lack of faith, spiritual journey...these things are intensely personal, and I believe that they are meant to be. Ultimately your relationship with God is exactly that - a relationship. Evolving, changing, fluid over time, arguments, reconciliation, acceptance, and ultimately, love. Your PERSONAL relationship with God does not have anything to do with any religion you affiliate or don't affiliate with. If you choose to affiliate with a church or denomination, it is still YOUR business if there are a few things that you don't subscribe to. Yours and God's.

Anecdote: I grew up in a fundamentalist religion here in the Midwest. My dad is a Pentecostal minister at a large church here. Pentecostals set themselves apart with a lot of "standards of holiness" having to do with the outward appearance. Women don't cut their hair, wear pants, clothing is ultra-modest, no jewelry, no make-up, etc. It is very, very serious stuff to them, and for each thing, they can pinpoint the exact place in the Bible which upholds these beliefs. A teenage relative of mine was wreaking havoc in her house by painting her toenails. They were covered in socks, shoes, no one would ever see them except her or her family...but her dad was quite concerned that she was bound for hellfire because of the painted toenails. They had long, impassioned arguments about it for months, replete with Bible quotes, references to Jezebel, the whole nine yards! She finally turned to him and said "Daddy, I love God. I go to church. I praise, I worship, I pray. I believe in Him, I believe in loving my neighbor, I am his faithful child. God and I will work out the details, Dad. BETWEEN OURSELVES."

Wiser words were never spoken.

In response to Cooky's question, An LDS Church leader said ..., JessicaM said:

@Beartato - I don't think that sexuality/sexual orientation is black and white, but I do think that your dominant preferences are biologically determined, not consciously chosen.

Everything in our culture steers people toward being heterosexual, because that's the dominant sexual orientation of most people.

I have many friends who have had sexual experiences with people of the same sex even though they're predominantly attracted to people of the opposite sex. They didn't wake up one day and said "screw dating men, I'm going to date women." They just found themselves being attracted to a particular woman, and instead of resisting it, they went with it. When that relationship ran its course, they went back to dating men. Or another woman. Maybe they define themselves as bisexual. Maybe not.

I wouldn't assume that because you're with a man right now that you were heterosexual. I would say you're in a heterosexual relationship. How you define your sexuality is up to you.

I've only had sexual relationships with men, but I can't say that it's impossible that I could be attracted to a woman and want to be in a sexual relationship with her. However, 33 years in, I still haven't met a woman that I wanted to get naked with. So I'm think that the odds are pretty low that that's going to happen.

My former housemate is a lesbian in a relationship with a transgender man, so by everyone else's perception, they're in a heterosexual relationship. Neither of them would self-define as heterosexual.

My current housemate is a transgender woman in a relationship with a woman. They could have been considered a heterosexual couple before the gender reassignment surgery, but neither of them would call themselves heterosexuals.

The choice is whether or not to *act* on your sexual feelings, not whether or not you have them. I can't think of a time that I chose to have sexual feelings for someone. It just happens.

I don't think that someone should have to choose abstinence because their sexual preferences don't conform to the predominant orientation.

Sexuality and sexual orientation are more fluid than a lot of people are willing to admit. (Insert sexual fluids joke here) I don't think that makes it a choice though.

In response to dooce's question, What is your favorite ..., Cooky said:

The vibrating function ;-)

In response to Agent Scully's question, Happy 6 month anniversary ..., jg said:

@DooIt - this lyric has always stuck in my mind "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today/ He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA" (The The, 'Armageddon Days are Here Again.')
~
My favourite bumper sticker... Jesus Would Slap the Shit Out of You.

In response to ispellkonfusion's question, What's your most recent ..., wilg1 said:

She doesn't post often but when she does, I'm laughing out loud, usually with tears in my eyes.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/part...

I DO have funny friends and family, but this was the most recent LOL moment for me.

In response to Tato's question, Do I kill threads?, Candy said:

We'll know the DoCo has gone mainstream when you hear other people using "page 8" as a euphemism for, well, all the things on page 8.

"God, I need a page 8."
"I got your page 8 right here."
"What do I have to do to get some page 8 around here?"
"He page 8-ed me last night!" "No!" "Yes, I think I love him."

All of EliBailey's Favorite Answers »

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EliBailey

My daughter wants to move 2,000 miles away. Is there anything I can do to convince her not to? Should I even try? More inside.

Do I need a super professional website or can I get by with what I have for a while? I need opinions! (More inside)

What do you do when you're depressed and you know what you should do to make it better, but you're too depressed to do it?

"High heels. Own any that are just soooo comfortable?"

"What is the one cooking tip you have learned that seems simple, but makes a huge difference?"

"What charity/charities do you feel do really good work?"

"If you are a Christian how do you reconcile the church's general stance on homosexuality with being tolerant to all people?"

"Does anyone need any jeans? I have about 20pr I need to get rid of. "

"What were your first question and answer here? Mine are inside."

"Save the Date! Dallas FW Meet up September 12th! "

"Do I kill threads?"

"Vinegar is really amazing and stinky stuff. What do you use this wonder product for?"

"The Husband has a question."

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