Tobie

Ok, I came here just to post this, HA. http://failblog.org/2010/09/05/epic-fail-photos-ma... .

Carry on :) .

Erm, I'm very much against it....the usual reasons, degrading to women, desensitizes men, promotes violence and unhealthy attitudes. It really bothers me. It makes me feel crappy that my bf watches it....like, oh, you want to be with someone made of silicone? GO AHEAD, I'll set you free, see how well that works out for you. But, I can also tend to be overly sensitive.

Thx for your answers again....I just talked w/my mom :) , who said that she thinks his culture has a lot to do with it. The women are (generally) "supposed" to be MUCH more demure there, not "talk back," and he was probably taught to never "put up with" these "affronts." Her opinion is that staying with him means that I need to work through/with these cultural expectations, but the cultural expectations are So ingrained in him that he likely will NOT change. He is (consciously or not) expecting me to act like a (stereotypical) woman from this culture.

This also raises questions of how he would expect any future daughters to be raised, but that's for another day.

Thank you, though....I am really touched that you guys responded so quickly and with such concern....it was super-helpful and has prompted me to start a new 'question' on here....

We have been together for 4.5 years. We are 29. He is a sweet and loving guy normally, but I CANNOT have a serious conversation with him, he will "explode" and storm out saying "I can't do this, you always do this, I can't put up with this...." I have abandonment issues so this ends very poorly. "Serious" topics I have tried to bring up with him include - frequency of sex (I want more), I don't approve of his watching p0rn (I have a moral objection to it sry), how we should manage our money together, we need to do better at "planning out" how we spend money/save for things/planning vacations.......ALSO, he will blow up if I ask him a "hypothetical" question, such as "how did your family do such-and-such when you were growing up...." (He did not have a traumatic childhood so that is not the issue), "how do you think couples should handle such-and-such"....etc.

--I know the above topics make me SOUND like a nag lol, but over 4.5 years these are things which should be discussed, yes?

--Part of the problem might be, we went through some Seriously tough times over these years - illness and 2 deaths in immediate family, foreclosure in family, financial troubles, hometown was basically destroyed, etc....And though he's been wonderful, maybe this has been such a 'drag' on him that he just doesn't have the emotional capacity at this time to deal with "regular" issues as opposed to the hugely traumatic issues we've had to face, which is understandable. Does that make sense?

--Could it be HOW I'm asking him that's the problem? Maybe I'm being too whiny or b*tchy? I'm open to suggestions from anyone.

Sorry for a very LONG first question......thanks in advance for advice....