apostate
Member Since: November 9, 2009
Location: Our Lovely Deseret
SAHM of 2. Exmo. Left winged smart ass. Hanging on to my sanity by a thread.
This person hasn't asked any questions yet.
That would have to be Walter The Farting Dog.
Yes, IMHO they're better than other baby carriers. And also, for extra fun, you can slip cover them which is something I wish I had known with my babies. My uterus is closed for business, but I've slip covered some for friends.
What a great question to ask apostate!
I beat around the bush for a while and kind of soft pedaled it a bit. Kind of made it sound like I had "doubts". There was crying. I am here to say that this is not a good approach. I wish I had been more honest. Honest about simply not believing in magic hats and seer stones or polygamy being God's way, racism not being God's way, etc.
Still, despite the initial discomfort of it all, my parents did better than I thought they would in dealing with it.
Six years later, we all just get along and pretty much don't talk about it.
It works.
Uh, yeah. There's something wrong there.
It's one thing to stay friends with people who were already friends before the marriage. I don't think any new female friends need to be added. Couple friends are okay.
It looks bad and it's inappropriate.
After my semester at BYU landed me in a mental hospital, there wasn't really much left to be said other than, "If you can't get off my back about being Mormon I will have to exclude you from my life because I mentally/psychologically can't take the pressure."
Surprisingly, they got it. Although their hearts are broken, they have respected me enough to leave me alone. (For which I have always been grateful. Leaving the church was not easy for me.) It took me awhile to show them the same respect. But I was a teenager. Of course, I would do it differently if I was making that choice now.
I grew up in a Mormon family and spent most of my childhood years living in SLC, UT. My parents divorced when I was seven years old. My Dad became a rabid athiest, while my Mom's faith in the Mormon church strengthened. I stopped going to church when I was 15 and moved to Boise to live with my Dad. I've gone to church on a few occasions, mostly for family events. But, it's never comfortable. Usually because they keep referring to people like me as lost sheep. I don't feel lost.
Religion has divided my family. Half of us are agnostic (we believe in God, but don't belong to any particular church); half are devout Mormon. It's been a huge source of contention - a lot of judgement, favoritism, etc. The problem with Mormonism is you can't just be kinda Mormon. You can't enjoy wine with dinner and then go to church on Sunday (theoretically you could, but that wouldn't be right). You can't go to church for an hour each month. You either do it, or you don't.
No matter how successful I am in this life - career, family, well-being, etc., it will never be good enough. Why? Because I'm not Mormon. Hard pill to swallow, but I'd rather be true to my beliefs than fake it.
Here's a doozy . . . my family is SO ANTI-religious, that I would get flack for GOING to church. They would look at me as weak and needing a crutch to lean on, and not of my right mind. Seeing my mom roll her eyes at me still trumps any effort I might make towards a faith.
like dooce, i'm an ex-mo. i spent more than two years hiding this from my family. i'm not one for confrontation. i lived across town and they just didn't know i wasn't going to church. finally, when my boyfriend and i decided to move to santa barbara, i had to 'fess up, so that's just what i told them. "i'm moving to santa barbara. and boyfriend is going with me." i think my mom spent another two years in denial, convinced that we were "roommates." although we all get along fine now (mostly because boyfriend and i finally got married) i don't recommend my method. it was very stressful.
I'm a life long Mormon and my family is very devout. My husband and I were married in the temple and went to church regularly until the whole prop 8 thing last year when we finally got fed up with the church doing things we didn't agree with. So, after doing some research about questions I had about the church but ignored for years I came to the conclusion that the church was not true as I had always been told.
I mentioned this to my sister whom I am very close to and she thought a bit about it and talked to another sister who mentioned that she had been doing the same thing and had come to the same concluson. So, all three of us no longer believed, but how do we tell our parents?
We decided we would each write a letter to our parents telling them of our journey of discovery and mail them all together. I know that seems harsh, but we decided it was like ripping off a band-aid, you just gotta do it quickly and get it over with, right?
Luckily they did not die of a heart attack right there on the spot. They did, however, write each of us a letter telling us why we are wrong and how sad they are. Then they basically said that we would never speak of this again and it hasn't been brought up ever since.
Of course that was just a few months ago. I'm not sure what we'll do when baptisms and weddings come around for other family members. I'm sure it will be awkward!
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