Norabloom
Member Since: November 2, 2009
Location: Chicago
Why do some disasters get more attention than others?
"How did you decide whether or not to have a baby? I'm 35 and still undecided. I have some friends who were born to be parents, and some who never want kids. Sometimes I really want a family, other days I love my freedom. How did you finally decide?"
"What are some covers that are better than the originals?"
Since you found relief from the hot water bottle, you might consider Thermacare back wraps (get these instead of the ones designed for menstral cramps). I just wear the back wrap backwards so that the heat is on my abdominal area and it really helps. Plus I can wear it to work and nobody is the wiser. Ibuprofen makes a big difference for me as well.
Marked as great 1 time I agree with everyone here who has said to dress rather conservatively. A suit is perfect, although dress pants or a dress skirt with a nice blouse is fine, too (unless you're applying for an atty position; then a suit is imperative). I'd wear simple jewelry (nothing distracting), light makeup, etc. If you do wear a skirt, be sure to wear nylons or tights (no bare legs). Most importantly, best of luck!!
@ Mindy Lee - I agree about the Calvin Klein suits. I've picked up a few on ideeli for around $65 and they're much better quality suits than the ones I've purchased at Ann Taylor and J. Crew for significantly more. I didn't realize that TJ Max and Ross carry CK suits. Thanks for the tip!
Marked as great 1 time @Saturnine, yes, I can understand how it's annoying. Far too many parents think their children are the center of the universe and therefore should be at the center of your universe as well. In my experience, most over-the-top birthday parties for very young children are really about the parents anyway.
I swear by Nars Sheer Glow foundation:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/nars-sheer-glow-founda...
It's pricey but worth it, and a bottle lasts a long time, too. There's also a matte version, for those who prefer a matte finish.
I went to Catholic schools in Salt Lake. At least when I was a kid, the large majority of students at the public schools were Mormon. If you weren't Mormon, you were an outsider. Add to that the fact that I was a little brown kid, and public school would have been a nightmare. I did attend summer school one year at a public school (Ensign Elementary, for those of you from SLC) and the blatant racism was appalling. I was called nigger and spic (they couldn't tell what I was and wanted to cover their bases) and actually had objects thrown at me. That was the last time I attended public school in Utah until college. All that nonsense in the Book of Mormon about the Lamanites being cursed with dark skin really seemed to make an impression on my fellow public school classmates. The 80s were an ugly time to be a minority in Utah. I hear it's gotten better but I don't have any plans on moving back.
If I had kids I would send them to the public school in my area because the schools are good. If they struggled though, I'd move them to a smaller private school where they could get more individual attention.
I don't have children, but last week I was overworked associate tired, which meant that I was averaging 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night, plus 18 plus hour work days. That said, I was able to sleep all day on Saturday and part of the day on Sunday, a luxury most new parents would not have. On the other hand, I have to believe that waking up every two hours to feed your innocent newborn who is completely dependent upon you for sustenance is somehow more rewarding than say hypothetically working for a client who has engaged in questionable business practices.
Marked as great 1 time To be honest, it would bother me quite a bit, but I could live with it. One of my best friends since high school makes the seen/saw mistake and I didn't drop her as a friend or anything. ; )Actually her grammar has improved dramatically in the 20 years I've known her, and although I've never asked her, I think it's because she made a concerted effort to improve it. A person with "bad grammar" usually speaks that way because that is how they grew up speaking. He can correct some of those mistakes, but just understand that it's not easy and usually is a sensitive subject.Or maybe you will find that it's just a quirk you can live with.(Yes, I know ended that sentence with a preposition.) Does he use the wrong tense with other words or just see, saw, seen?
@thefirecat, "goating" is officially my new favorite malapropism. It is so charming! I also love that you deliberately avoided correcting him so he'd keep using it.
Oh, one more thing . . . poor grammar does not equal low intelligence.My husband makes a few grammatical errors, more so after a few beers, and he has a PhD.He just laughs and says it's his Utah accent.
Marked as great 1 time Added $10 to my Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) card to take the El. Exciting, right?
Yes, I've colored my hair regularly for at least five years now because of grey hair. I don't have that much grey hair, but what I do have really stands out. My natural hair color is black, or at least as close to black as possible without actually being black black (probably a "soft black"), but black hair dye looks way too harsh so I color it dark brown. I like Perfect Ten in Espresso. Interestingly, I get better coverage of greys when I color my hair myself as opposed to going to the salon.
I meant to add that, for me, keeping my name was about being a feminist. I appreciate that women who choose to keep their names have different reasons for doing so (and those who change their names have different reasons, too), but for me it definitely was tied up in my identity and my rejection of the societal norms that women should take their husbands' name. Our feeling about the whole name issue was that keeping our own names was the most equitable approach. I'm not saying that women who take their husbands' names can't also be feminists. But I disagree with the earlier remark that it's not feminist to keep your name. Certainly there are other reasons women choose to keep their name but for me, feminism was an element of my decision.
Marked as great 1 time You ladies are just what the doctor ordered. I just needed to complain a little bit. Talk about the evils of bleeding. Whine about the cramps. Make you gag thinking about blood clots. Commiserate with others like me. And you delivered in spades! I love you all!
I started looking into the thermal ablation, which I learned is the same as Novasure, but they ask, "Are you positive you're done having kids?" and I hesitated. How crazy is that? My husband had a damn vasectomy, with my complete consent! I think I'm too hormonal today... or something.
But I've learned a lot in your comments. I snorted at @Sabine's "I'm too busy sitting on the toilet with a book for a couple hours because life is just easier that way." comment (been there!). @Norabloom, I clipped a Thermacare coupon tonight! I nodded in agreement with @Shana in Texas about giving my uterus away (it served me well, and I'm now through with it). @Tato, we're practically on the same schedule, except that mine actually started Saturday night (into Sunday)--it woke me up in the middle of night, all "You're unprepared! Head in the bano now, before we make a mess of things!" I like @ElegantGoose's tip the best: Gulp red wine (I'm in!).
You ladies are smart. And supportive. And funny. And wonderful. And you make me smile. Love to you all!
I have 'em all -- yard gnomes, water features, wind spinners, gazing balls, wishing well, yard gator, stepping stones, plastic butterflies and dragonflies, and my flock of flaming pink flamigoes will kick the ass of any person who DARES to criticize my accumulated forty years of yard decor.
And here's the kids hand prints in the concrete from when we moved in. And here are their foot prints from the new addition. And buried in the grotto wall is the time capsule from Dec. 31, 1999.
It may be tacky to you. It's a lifetime of memories for me. I can tell you the exact time and place I received every single one of my yard gifts.
If it were just the other stuff, I'd be less inclined to dismiss "what the fuck ever" but if someone is threatening suicide, "what the fuck ever" goes right out the window.
If he's endangering himself, that's serious shit. Call the therapist. I'm glad his dad went over there, but hopefully it won't end there, because a threat like that--especially made in a household where there are children--hello. Did we learn NOTHING from @dooce's recent post about Jeff?
First, hugs to you. Losing a job is hard enough to go through without adding depression into the mix.
I think your next step depends on what you want to accomplish in the grand scheme of things. Are you seriously considering leaving him? Do you just need a break? Are you willing to work through things or is this it? Until you know what path you want to take you can't make the first move.
Having said all that, it sounds like he needs help sooner rather than later to deal with his depression and suicidal issues. If he truly is suicidal, he should speak to a counselor or a qualified health professional. If he is not, and he's just using that as a hook to get you back then I think you have some serious thinking to do.
Lean on your family (and his parents who seem to be supportive, so that's good) and let them know what they can do to help.
ETA: I think going back there or calling him right now would only add fuel to the fire. If you're concerned he has done something to harm himself, you can either send his dad back over to check or call the police to check on his well being.
Did you see the hilarious response he sent a NY times writer who gave his video a bad review? He was definitely a genius. RIP, gone too soon.
I can't really say since I'm not a mom. I'm more of the thought that tired is tired. Different life situations will push you to extreme tiredness more than others. But really, nothing is gained from trying to make one seem 'more' or 'worse' than the other.
It's a matter of perspective. Tired to me is tired. Tired to you is tired. It's not a contest, for crying out loud. I do think that parents have less opportunity to check out than non-parents do. You have to be "on" more than I do.
Absolutely, unequivocally yes. I adopted my son, and it makes no difference to me that we're not related biologically; he is totally mine and I see myself in him every day. I think we were meant to find each other. He is my heart.
I kept my name, and I honestly feel like since I'm in the minority for having done so (in North America, anyway), my choice certainly comes under fire more than if I'd taken my husband's name. I feel like some women equate taking their husband's name with being more committed or in love or family-minded than women who don't, and it sucks to have to explain over and over that:
1. My mom kept her last name and I did not grow up confused in any way about that.
2. My mom kept her last name & has been married very happily to my dad for 33 years. They are very much a family unit.
3. Neither my husband nor myself come from cultures in which the wife automatically takes the husband's last name. Marriage doesn't involve name-changing in many cultures, and yet those married people still find a way to represent themselves as a committed unit & raise kids together.
4. I'm published under my name.
5. I married a man from a different culture, and taking his last name would feel like I was erasing my cultural background in favor of one I had no claim to.
6. We can still have children without the name issue being an issue. We can give the kids both our names, or just mine, or just his, or give them one of our last names as a middle name & the other as a last name.
You will get far more flack for keeping your name than changing it. Because no matter your reasons for changing or not changing, not changing is still assumed to be the "feminist" choice, and the backlash against feminism in modern North American society paints "feminist" choices as less desirable. Again, this is a social thing, not an individual thing... not saying that changing one's name can't be feminist or that keeping it is necessarily feminist. Just saying that thanks to sexism, you have to do more explaining (and deal with more negative assumptions) if you keep your name.
Rant over!
When my sister got married, she kept her maiden name and her husband was completely fine with that. She would answer to Mrs. HisLastName and didn't make a big deal about it but legally she was Ms. HerLastName.
When their first child was born, it was my BIL who suggested they give the baby his mom's last name instead of his own. It was looking like our family name (which is kind of unique) was going to "die out" with me and my sister, and BIL knew how much it would mean to our dad to have another generation with our name.
He was such a cool guy, my BIL.
Browse By Category
- The "Stranger Danger" Movement essentially started with Etan Patz. How do you feel now that his alleged killer has confessed? (link inside)
- What is your favorite thing to buy at Trader Joe's?
- What would DoCo do about a suddenly homeless friend?
- In your work day, how many hours are you actively "working"?
- Should I or should I not of said something?! More inside...
Who's online
There are currently 21 users and 1306 guests online.Online users
